


We Need To Talk

by AlwaysWatching



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Break Up, Dialogue-Only, Earth C (Homestuck), Feelings, Loneliness, Meteorstuck, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Pining, Rejection, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-26
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-10-28 06:01:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20773706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysWatching/pseuds/AlwaysWatching
Summary: Those who play sburb are not well adjusted. Paradox space spits out warriors, with no time for feelings, no time for talking, no time for peace. Sometimes though, sometime's all you need to do is talk. Let's.AKA: Dialogue only character explorations. Also alternate timelines/universes that I think are interesting.





	1. Of Love and Loneliness

timeausTestifed  [TT]  began pestering gardenGnostic  [GG]   
TT: Yo.  
TT: I heard about what happened with you, Dave, and Karkat.   
GG: and???  
TT: Just wanted to make sure you were alright.  
GG: youre full of shit  
GG: im not dumb, i know that dave asked you to do this because he doesnt want to talk to me  
GG: and i also know that you dont care  
TT: Well damn.  
TT: That’s an unfair interpretation of what I’m trying to say don’t you think?  
GG: no  
GG: besides i dont know when talking to you has ever made anything better  
TT: Harsh.  
TT: Well, I guess no need to wear the kid gloves then.  
TT: Are you going to back off?  
GG: excuse me???  
GG: i already “backed off” asshole  
GG: dave and karkat made it very clear how they felt about me, i dont need you to come rub it in  
GG: so fuck off  
gardenGnostic  [GG]  blocked timeausTestified  [TT]   
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
TT: Well.  
TT: I can’t say that it went well, but I expected it not too.  
TG: really?  
TG: whatd she say?  
TT: She told me to fuck off.  
TG: damn  
TG: did she say if she was alright at least?  
TT: No.  
TT: She went straight for my throat which, fair, if I were in her position I would have done the same.  
TT: Have done the same in fact.  
TG: did she just insult you?  
TT: Yeah pretty much, but she was pretty on the money.  
TG: thats pretty harsh  
TT: Nah, I deserved it.  
TT: Told you it was a bad idea, but hey there you go.  
TT: I am the last person she should be talking to.  
TG: i guess  
TG: i just thought you might be the most impartial here  
TG: dont want to be gettin into any more fights  
TG: and asking rose and john to talk to me ex is kinda....  
TT: I know.  
TG: do you think shes going to be alright?  
TT: I don’t know.  
TG: yeah  
TG: thanks bro  
TT: No problem.  
turntechGodhead [TG]  stopped pestering timeausTestifed  [TT]   
________________________________________________________________________________________________________  
carcinoGeneticist [CG]  began trolling gardenGnostic  [GG]   
CG: JADE HOLY SHIT.  
CG: IT’S BEEN A WEEK AND NO ONE HAS HEARD FROM YOU.  
GG: okay?  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU *MEAN* OKAY?  
GG: john and terezi are busy with each other just like roxy and callie, rose and kanaya, jane and jake, and you and Dave  
GG: everyone is busy no one has time for me  
CG: WHAT THE FUCK???  
CG: THAT IS SO OBVIOUSLY NOT TRUE.  
CG: STOP BEING A FUCKING BULGEMUNCHER AND *TALK* TO US!  
GG: talk to who?  
GG: want to know all the people who have tried pestering me lately?  
GG: you and dirk  
GG: and dirk only did it because dave made him  
GG: im just meant to be alone  
CG: WHAT!  
CG: JADE WHAT THE FUCK EVERYONE LOVES YOU!  
CG: YOU’RE ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR PEOPLE ON THE PLANET FOR FUCKS SAKE!  
GG: so are you going to talk to me then?  
GG: hang out with me?  
\- - carcinoGeneticist  [CG]  is now an idle chum!  
GG: yeah thats what i thought  
gardenGnostic [GG]  has blocked CarcinoGeneticist  [CG]!   
CG: JADE WAIT!   
CG: *FUCK!*  
____________________________________________________________________________________

tenctacleTherapist [TT]  began pestering turntechGodhead [TG]  
TT: Dave have you seen Jade lately?  
TT: It has been a month since I’ve last seen her.  
TT: I tried pestering her yesterday, but she did not answer.  
TG: nah  
TG: she kinda disappeared  
TG: or maybe she didnt all i know is i havent seen her and she hasnt talked to me for a month  
TT: I’m sorry?  
TT: You don’t know where your girlfriend is?  
TT: Does Karkat?   
TG: well  
TG: thats the thing  
TG: shes not our girlfriend anymore  
TG: in fact me and karkat kind of went exclusive  
TG: and uh  
TG: im gay  
TG: took me a really long time to figure that out  
TT: …  
TT: I see.  
TT: Sparing the news of your burgeoning awareness of your sexuality, would you mind explaining why Jade disappeared?  
TT: I imagine the two of you broke up with her and she did not take it well?  
TG: yeah  
TT: And you did not think this turn of events was worthy of informing the rest of us of?  
TG: if you and kanaya broke up would you want to go run around telling everyone?  
TG: i loved her even though you know  
TG: i didnt love her like *that*  
TG: like the way she wanted me to  
TG: so yeah im sorry for not running around and dumping my emotional baggage everywhere  
TG: i thought she wouldve come to talk to one of you  
TT: I…  
TT: Yes, I suppose if my and Kanaya’s relationship failed I would not be all too eager to share.  
TT: Have you tried messaging her?  
TG: she wont answer me   
TG: and she blocked karkat after he tried to talk to her  
TG: blocked dirk too  
TT: Out of all the candidates to recruit to talk to Jade, you chose Dirk and her ex boyfriend?  
TG: I chose dirk the day we broke up cause I knew he wouldnt take a side  
TG: not like i was trying to make a trainwreck happen  
TG: like im destroying railroad tracks for the union  
TG: shouldve known it was a bad idea  
TG: karkat did it on his own didnt ask him to do anything  
TT: Hmm.  
TT: Well, who would she have turned to?  
TG: uh  
TG: well shit if she hasnt messaged anyone yet then probably no one  
TT: You don’t think she would have turned to me or John, her best friends?   
TG: guess not   
TG: if you dont know where she is then im pretty sure no one does  
TT: I…  
TT: Hmm.  
TT: One moment.  
Tentacletherapist [TT]  created the chat “We need to talk about Jade”  
turntechGodhead [TG]  has been added!  
ectoBiologist [EB]  has been added!  
TT: Alright, let’s cut to the chase.  
TT: Kanaya and I have been busy with mothergrub and dealing with Jane.  
TT: Dave I already know you and Karkat don’t know where she is.  
TT: John, have you or Terezi seen Jade?  
EB: what? is jade missing or something?  
TG: yeah  
TG: short version  
TG: me and karkat broke up with her cause   
TG: it wasnt working for us and im gay   
TG: so she zapped off to somewhere  
TG: and dont think anyone has seen her since  
EB: wow, okay that’s a lot to take in.  
EB: i haven't seen her and i know terezi hasn’t either.  
EB: rose can’t you use your seer powers to look for her?  
TT: I have tired.  
TT: I have caught glimpses of where she might be, but it is difficult to pin down.  
TT: My powers do not allow me to pick what to focus on as explicitly as I'd like.  
TG: well fuck  
TG: maybe roxy knows?  
TG: add roxy  
EB: why would roxy know?  
TG: have a better idea?  
EB: point taken.  
tentacleTherapist  [TT]  has added ttipsyGnostalgic [TG].  
TG: whoa  
TG: its a party in here  
TG: whats goin on????  
TT: We are looking for Jade, have you or Calliope seen her?  
TG: jade?  
TG: nah idk where she is   
TG: we dont rly talk like that  
TG: lemme go ask callie they might know  
\- - tipsyGnostalgic  [TG]  is now and idle chum!  
EB: fuck  
EB: is it even worth asking jane?  
TG: no way  
TG: even with me and karkat out of the picture she does *not* like jane at all  
TG: no way she would have gone to her  
TT: Perhaps Jake?  
EB: um  
EB: let me ask him i didn't want to add him in here because…  
EB: well no offense to jake, but he's pretty whipped.  
TG: true  
TT: Yes, I suppose that is true.  
TT: Message him and inform us of the results then.  
\- -ectoBiologist  [EB]  is now an idle chum!  
TG: k back  
TG: but calliope hasnt seen her either.  
TG: has she like vansihed?  
TG: vanished*  
TT: Yes.  
TG: scroll up  
TG: oof  
TG: yea this is lookin pretty bad   
TT: A tad of an understatement.  
TT: Does anyone know where she might have gone?  
TG: nah she uh  
TG: she never really made a home here?  
TG: she kind of just   
TG: did whatever and couch surfed  
TG: i mean she has the big ass island out in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of her shit in it  
TG: but she kind of just zapped herself there or whatever with her space powers whenever she wanted something   
TG: never really lived there  
TG: she mostly just lived with me and karkat  
TG: and of all the places to go i dont think she is gonna go back to that island just sayin   
TG: so i dont think she even has somewhere specific to go  
EB: jake doesn’t know either.  
TT: So, no one has any idea where she might be, and the last person she talked to was Karkat?  
TT: Are Aradia and sollux still on Earth-C?  
TG: lol ye actually  
TG: they hung out with me and callie yesterday  
tentacleTherapist [TT]  has added twinArmgeddons [AA]!  
tenctacleTherapist [TT]  has added apoclypseArisen [AA]!  
TA: what the hell is g0ing on here?  
AA: are we planning a party?  
TT: No.  
TT: Sollux, can you track Jade’s device?  
TT: No one knows where she is, but she has answered Karkat before so she must have a computer with her.  
TA: why the hell d0 i have t0 d0 it?  
TA: i d0n’t give a shit ab0ut whatever drama you have g0ing 0n.  
AA: sollux be nice  
AA: you arent doing anything anyway  
AA: besides looking for her sounds like fun :D  
TA: ugh  
TA: fine  
\- - twinArmgeddons [TA]  is now an idle chum!  
AA: why has jade disappeared?  
TT: Scroll up.  
TG: scroll up  
EB: scroll up.  
TG: ^^^^^  
AA: 0_0  
AA: i see  
AA: that does seem to be quite the unfortunate situation  
AA: may i ask why karkat is not in this memo?  
AA: it seems like he might have something to add  
TG: hes reading over my shoulder  
TG: and there are already way too many people in here   
AA: i see  
TA: here  
[TA]  sent a file Jade_c00rdinates  
[TA]  ceased responding to the memo.  
AA: well then good luck on your search i dont think sollux will let me convince him to join you  
[AA]  ceased responding to the memo  
TG: ye im out too  
TG: dont think im your boy for this   
TG  ceased responding to the memo.  
TG: yeah i uh  
TG: im not sure if im right for this quest either  
TG: dont think she wants to see me  
TG: so uh  
TG: let me know how it goes  
TG  ceased responding to the memo.  
TT: I guess it is between you and me John.  
TT: Between the two of us, I believe it would be better for you to find her.  
TT: I have been informed that my skill at comforting people is not up to snuff as they say.  
EB: that’s a nice way to put it.  
TT: Shut up John.  
TT: Good luck, please bring her back.  
tentacleTherapist  [TT]  closed the chat "We need to talk about Jade."  
_______________________________________________________________________

John: jade?  
Jade: …  
John: are you okay?  
Jade: did dave send you too?  
John: jade  
John: no one sent me.  
John: well, i guess someone kind of did?  
John: but we all had a conversation about how to find you and who should come talk to you and i decided to go.  
Jade: …  
John: are you okay?  
Jade: why you?  
John: do you want to talk to someone else?  
Jade: …  
Jade: no  
John: alright.  
John: so are you okay?  
Jade: im okay  
Jade: no worse than i was on the battleship  
John: the place where you were alone for three years?  
Jade: yes john thanks for the reminder  
John: …  
John: the view here is really pretty.  
John: how did you even find this place?  
Jade: i found it when i was looking for a place to propose to dave and karkat  
Jade: i thought it would be nice  
Jade: cant get much more romantic than a cliff overlooking a beach can you?  
John: oh.  
John: well it’s still really nice.  
Jade: …  
Jade: john why did you come?  
Jade: i know that youre worried   
Jade: but did you really think that anything about this can be fixed?  
John: ...  
Jade: yeah well there is no fix  
Jade: no amount of godtier magic or hope or anything is going to make someone love me  
Jade: and dont even say that you love me  
Jade: or that rose does or anyone else  
Jade: or even dave  
Jade: i know you do  
Jade: but no one will ever love me like you love terezi or rose loves kanaya  
Jade: how dave loves karkat  
John: …  
John: that’s not…  
Jade: true?  
Jade: think about it john  
Jade: i spent most of my life asleep  
Jade: and when i was awake i was always alone  
Jade: i thought that when we got to the new universe  
Jade: when we got out of that fucking game  
Jade: that i could settle down and find a home  
Jade: my home was dave and karkat  
Jade: and they dont want me  
Jade: so what else is left?  
Jade: no one is ever going to love me like that  
Jade: im going to spend the rest of my immortal life just as alone as i was on earth  
John: …  
John: someone could love you.  
John: there are plenty of people and trolls and everything else on earth-c.  
John: and jane wouldn’t let them die if you loved them.  
John: you don’t have to be alone.  
Jade: john  
Jade: you went through sburb too  
Jade: you know that cant work  
John: …  
John: i-  
John: …  
Jade: …  
Jade: just go john  
John: but-  
Jade: im not going anywhere  
Jade: ill unblock dirk and karkat  
Jade: and ill answer my messages  
John: …  
Jade: isnt that why you really came here?  
John: do you really want me to go?  
Jade: do you have anything left to say?  
John: …  
John: i-  
John: we love you jade.  
Jade: i know  
___________________________________________________________________  
ectoBiologist [EB]  created the chat “jade”  
turntechGodhead [TG]  was added to the memo!  
tentacleTherapist [TT] was added to the memo!  
ectoBiologist [EB]  locked the chat.  
EB: i found her.  
EB: she didn’t sound like herself at all.  
EB: we talked and…  
EB: you know how jade was always so happy?  
EB: always really optimistic?  
EB: well, that’s gone.  
EB: she seemed…  
EB: she seemed really empty.  
TG: fuck  
TG: this is my fault  
TG: if i didnt reject her  
TG: if i didnt  
TG: fuck  
TT: No.  
TT: Dave it’s not your fault.  
EB: yeah rose is right.  
EB: she would have found out eventually.  
EB: and i don't think i ever want to see jade when she's that mad.   
TG: where was she?  
EB: um  
EB: she was on a cliff that overlooked a beach.  
EB: she was just...sitting there.  
EB: watching the clouds.  
TT: Does the spot have some sort of special significance?  
TT: Do you think she will remain there? I would like to talk to her in person as well.  
TT: If you did not bring her back I fail to see what more I could do to make things worse.   
EB: uh  
EB: yeah it’s pretty special to her i think.  
TG: why?  
EB: i don’t know if you want to know.  
TG: john just fucking tell us  
TT: I agree.  
EB: it was where she was going to ask you and karkat to marry her.  
TG: oh  
TG: thats um  
TG: wow  
EB: she said that no one was ever going to love her, you know romantically.  
EB: i didn’t know what to say.  
EB: i think when she said that it was her just  
EB: totally giving up.  
TG: thats bullshit  
TG: there are like a million trolls and even more humans running around  
TT: Dave.  
TT: She played sburub.  
TT: We all did.  
TT: She’s a literal god of this universe, I don’t think she can date just anyone.  
TT: It would be a disaster.  
TG: but  
TG: fuck  
TG: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck  
TG: fuck this all so fucked up  
TG: there has got to be something else we can do right?  
TG: right???  
EB: ...  
TT: …  
TT: I think all we can do is keep being her friend.  
______________________________________________________

Dirk: Waiting for the world to end?  
Jade: what do you want?  
Dirk: Figured you could use some company.  
Jade: why?  
Dirk: One, because I don’t have shit to do.  
Dirk: Two, because I know how you feel.  
Dirk: No one is ever going to love me either.  
Dirk: And the only person I would even want to love...  
Dirk: Well, I fucked that shit up enough times that any repeat performance is only going to be painful.  
Dirk: Besides, he fell in love with someone else.   
Jade: jake?  
Dirk: Ding, ding.  
Jade: …  
Jade: are we really going to be like this forever?  
Jade: alone in a universe we literally created?  
Dirk: You want the truth or some hammed up bullshit?  
Dirk: I know you already know what the answer is.  
Jade: yeah  
Jade: i do  


>


	2. Of Alcohol and Abuse

Karkat: YOUR LUSUS LOCKED YOU IN FRIDGES?  
Dave: yeah he did that sometimes  
Dave: well i mean i guess more than sometimes  
Dave: i spent a lot of time in that fridge got to know its inner-workings and all its secrets  
Dave: like i was rose and the fridge was my patient  
Karkat: RIGHT.  
Karkat: AND TO BE CLEAR, YOUR LUSUS KEPT FUCKING SWORDS IN THERE TOO?  
Dave: yeah it was pretty hard to relax cause you know  
Dave: cant be gettin stabbed  
Dave: but i made it work  
Dave: didnt really like it though  
Karkat: WHAT ELSE DID YOUR LUSUS DO?  
Dave: he cut a meteor in half once  
Karkat: YES I KNOW DAVE, YOU MADE SURE TO TELL ME THAT EVERY FUCKING TIME YOUR LUSUS COMES UP.  
Karkat: WE KNOW HE WAS FUCKING “RAD.”  
Karkat: BUT I’M PRETTY SURE YOU DIDN’T LIKE BEING LOCKED IN A FRIDGE RIGHT?  
Dave: i cant say it was the most enjoyable thing ive ever done  
Karkat: RIGHT.  
Karkat: SO WHAT ELSE DID HE DO THAT YOU DIDN’T LIKE?  
Dave: uhhhh  
Dave: gonna have to be more specific?  
Karkat: IS THE QUESTION REALLY THAT HARD? YOUR LUSUS’S LITERALLY LOCKED YOU IN A FRIDGE FULL OF SHARP OBJECTS.  
Karkat: I’M ASKING WHAT ELSE HE DID BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE HE PROBABLY DID MORE THAN JUST THAT.  
Karkat: DID HE?  
Dave: i dunno there was a whole lot of stuff bro did that i really didnt like  
Karkat: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.  
Karkat: HOLD THE THE PALMHUSK.  
Karkat: IF THERE WERE SHARP THINGS IN YOUR FRIDGE WHERE DID YOUR LUSUS KEEP FOOD?  
Karkat: IN THE CABINETS?  
Dave: nah those were filled with puppet ass and shitty swords too  
Dave: pretty much everything was  
Dave: it would be like  
Dave: open-a-cabinet-and-dodge-the-swords-and-puppetass-extravaganza  
Dave: pretty normal though  
Karkat: OKAY, FIRST OF ALL NO.  
Karkat: THAT SOUNDS BATSHIT UP THE FUCKING BELFRY.  
Karkat: AND YOU DIDN’T EVEN ANSWER MY QUESTION. WHERE DID YOUR BRO KEEP YOUR FOOD?  
Dave: oh he kept in a safe  
Dave: but i also hid stuff in my closet  
Dave: only way to make sure i had shit  
Karkat: DID YOU HAVE A WAY TO GET INTO THE SAFE?  
Dave: nah i just broke into it  
Dave: granted i only managed to do that once or twice  
Dave: i mostly just hid food around places  
Dave: youve never snacked until youve had a hallway snack  
Karkat: YOU HAD TO HIDE FOOD FROM YOUR LUSUS?  
Karkat: DAVE THAT SOUNDS LIKE-  
Karkat: THAT SOUNDS FUCKED UP.  
Dave: dude  
Dave: it was fine okay?  
Dave: john and rose had to put up with their guardians doing weird bullshit all the time  
Karkat: DID THEIR PARENTS *STARVE* THEM?  
Dave:...  
Karkat:...  
Dave:...  
Dave: first  
Dave: i wasnt starved  
Dave: sure i didnt eat as much as i coudlve  
Dave: and okay  
Dave: maybe having to hide food is pretty weird  
Dave: but didnt your lusus drag back rotting corpses all the time though?  
Dave: doesnt like you were getting 5 course meals to me  
Karkat: MY LUSUS’S TENDENCIES TO DRAG HOME DEAD ANIMALS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH HIM FEEDING ME.  
Karkat: I NEVER WENT HUNGRY IF HE COULD HELP IT.  
Karkat: IN FACT MY LUSUS WAS PROBABLY ONE OF THE ONLY RELIABLE THINGS THAT I HAD ON ALTERNIA.  
Dave: well  
Dave: huh  
Karkat:...  
Dave:...  
Karkat: ARE YOU OKAY?  
Dave: yeah why wouldnt i be?  
Karkat: IT JUST SEEMS LIKE…  
Karkat: IT SEEMS LIKE WHAT YOUR LUSUS DID REALLY HURT YOU.  
Dave: dude  
Dave: drop it  
Karkat: DAVE-  
Dave: bro never hurt me  
Dave: other than the times we strifed  
Dave: and the times i fell for his traps  
Dave: or when he flung me down stairs  
Dave: other than that shit he never hurt me  
Dave: and all those times i did get hurt were my own fault he was just trying to help me  
Karkat: THAT SEEMS LIKE BULLSHIT.  
Karkat: DAVE, IT SOUNDS LIKE HE HURT YOU A LOT.  
Dave:..  
Dave: dont fucking touch me dude  
Dave: i dont know what the fuck you think this is but were not doing troll cuddle hour  
Karkat: OH MY GOG DAVE  
Karkat: IT’S NOT LIKE EVERYTIME A TROLL TOUCHES SOMEONE IT’S ROMANTIC.  
Karkat: WHAT IF I’M JUST TRYING TO COMFORT MY FRIEND?  
Karkat: LET ME GUESS YOUR LUSUS NEVER CUDDLED OR HUGGED YOU EITHER.  
Dave: shut the fuck up  
Dave: youre a fucking asshole  
Dave: you dont know shit about me so just stop  
Karkat: I-  
Karkat: DAVE I DIDN’T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.  
Dave: shut  
Dave: the  
Dave: fuck  
Dave: up  
Dave: k?  
Karkat:...  
Dave:...  
Dave: dude stop  
Dave: dude  
Dave: karkat fucking-  
Karkat: shoosh  
Dave: karkat fuck off you fucking  
Dave: did you just fucking  
Dave: did you just pap me?  
Karkat: SHOOSH  
Karkat: IT’S OKAY DAVE.  
Karkat: I’M SORRY.  
Dave: karkat just fucking stop  
Karkat: YOU CAN LEAVE IF YOU WANT TO.  
Karkat: I WON’T STOP YOU.  
Dave: can you stop papping me please  
Karkat: NO  
Karkat: YOU’VE CALMED DOWN SINCE I STARTED HAVEN’T YOU?  
Karkat: SO WHY DON’T YOU-  
Rose: Davekattttt  
Karkat: DID YOU LEAVE THE DOOR UNLOCK-  
Rose: oh thats soo good  
Rose: That is easly the bestest shippign name evar  
Rose: Ever*  
Dave: …  
Karkat: …  
Rose: i just wanna- fuck!  
Rose: fuck that hurttt  
Dave: ....  
Karkat: …  
Rose: awwwwww you tow are soooooooo cute  
Rose: Kanaya hic kanayaaa  
Rose: arent they cute???  
Kanaya: Rose Please Get Off The Floor  
Rose: I will but furst hic firstt.*  
Rose: First I hav’ta say  
Rose: Have to.*  
Rose: No me, you hav to say they're cuteeee.  
Kanaya: I Will Not Do That  
Rose: You kno what?  
Rose: You too shuld, fuck should*  
Rose: You two shold just FUCK alredy  
Rose: Dave is superrrr gay  
Rose: Karkat you havta know that rite?  
Rose: You should show him how good bein gay ish hic  
Rose: Rite Kanaya?  
Rose: Right?*  
Dave: …  
Karkat: …  
Kanaya: …  
Karkat: LALONDE YOU FUCKING- HEY KANAYA DO *NOT* DRAG HER AWAY YET WHAT THE *FUCK*!  
____________________________________________________________________________

Vriska: You ena8le her, you know that right?  
Kanaya: Excuse Me?  
Vriska: You heard me.  
Kanaya: I Do Not Know What You Are Talking About  
Vriska: Yes you do.  
Vriska: You’re letting her drink that weird human shit.  
Vriska: She’s almost as useless as Gamzee on sopor when she’s drinking.  
Kanaya: Excuse Me  
Kanaya: Do Not Compare My Matesprit To That Worthless Excuse For A Troll  
Kanaya: Fuck That Guy  
Vriska: Well may8e I wouldn't if you could control your matesprit.  
Kanaya: I Do Not Need To Control Her  
Kanaya: Her Choices Are Her Own  
Vriska: 8ullshit  
Vriska: 8ullshitttttttt  
Vriska: Want to know what I think?  
Vriska: Actually, too 8ad if you don’t, I don’t give a fuck.  
Vriska: You let her run around and fuck shit up  
Vriska: 8ecause you like it when she’s dangerous  
Vriska: And you like to pretend your her lusus.  
Kanaya: Oh Yes  
Kanaya: I Love To See My Matesprit Make A Fool Of Herself  
Kanaya: That Is Why I Have Been Trying To Get To Stop  
Kanaya: You Have Seen Straight Through Me Serket  
Vriska: You have 8een 8arely trying.  
Vriska: I’ve seen you “trying.”  
Vriska: You give in everytime.  
Vriska: Then you watch her run off and ruin things.  
Vriska: And walk behind her with a smile telling her it's totally fineeeeeeee.  
Vriska: So if that’s your best you do a shitty job.  
Kanaya: Fuck Off  
Kanaya: I Dont Know What Is Going On In Your Thinkpan That You Think Your Input On My Quadrants Is Needed  
Vriska: You’re not even denying it!!!!!!!!  
Vriska: 8ut if you won’t do anything I will.  
Vriska: A drunk Lalonde is worthless for when we arrive in the new session.  
Kanaya: How Dare You  
Kanaya: You Killed Your Flushcrush And Smiled When You Did It  
Kanaya: So Do Not Pretend As If Your Advice Should Hold Weight  
Kanaya: Youre Just A Huge Bitch  
Vriska: EX8USE ME????????  
Kanaya: I Am Sure Your Ocular Sponges Are Not Clogged I Do Not Need To Repeat Myself  
Vriska: Who the fuck do you think you 8re????????  
Vriska: You let your matespi8t run around like a fucking wiggler. I’m surprised she hasn’t k8lled herself yet.  
Vriska: She’ll be high off her ass or whatever fuck her 8ullshit soporiotifcs fucking do to h8r and die insatnly if we werne’t on this FUCKING meteor  
Vriska: Her death will pro8bly be just considering how fucking USELESS she is.  
Kanaya: At Least My Red Quadrant Does Not Lead To Death  
Kanaya: I Understand Why I Could Never Auspictizie Anything That You Touched  
Kanaya: Youre Just A Wreck Of A Troll  
Kanaya: How Your Moiralliegnce Has Lasted This Long Will Never Stop Being The Biggest Myster Of Paradox Space  
Vriska: OH HOW CUTE.  
Vriska: THIS IS COM8ING FROM THE TROLL WHO HAD A FLUSHCRUSH ON ME  
Vriska: LET ME DIE  
Vriska: AND ALSO LET ME KILL O8HER TROLLS  
Vriska: YOU PAINT YOURSELF AS 8ETTER THAN THE FUCKING MOTHERGRUB, 8UT YO8’RE JUST TOO WEAK TO STOP PEOPLE.  
Kanaya: EXCUSE ME??????????????????????????????????????  
Kanaya: I KILLED ERIDAN FOR THIS METEOR I HAVE FOUGHT IN EVERY CRUCIAL FIGHT WE HAVE EVER HAD  
Kanaya: AND WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?  
Kanaya: PARTICAPTE IN THE MURDER OF OUR FRIENDS?  
Kanaya: YOURE A BITCH ALL ON YOUR OWN YOU NEVER NEEDED MY HELP FOR THAT  
Vriska: CHOK8 ON A 8ULGE 8ITCH I WAS TRY8NG TO HELP YOU 8UT WOW IT’LL SURPRISE NO ONE THAT YOU’RE STILL FUCKING WORTHLESS.  
Kanaya: CHOKE ON IT SERKET YOURE LUCKY I DONT CHAINSAW YOU IN HALF  
___________  
Kanaya: ROSE  
Rose: Yes?  
Rose: Are you okay?  
Kanaya: YES IM  
Kanaya:...  
Rose:...  
Kanaya: …  
Rose:. …  
Kanaya: Yes I Am….Fine  
Kanaya: I Just Had A Particularly Unpleasant Run In With Vriska  
Kanaya: But That Is Not Important  
Kanaya: You Need To No Longer Consume Your Human Soporifics  
Kanaya: Ever  
Rose: …  
Rose: I assume this conversation is occuring due to your recent dialogue with Vriska?  
Rose: She has made it quite clear to me on innumerable occasions that she thinks my drinking is at issue, even though I do not drink as much as I used to.  
Kanaya: This Has Nothing To Do With Her  
Kanaya: Vriska Is Simply A Bitch  
Kanaya: Our Disagreements Only Partially Related To Your Habits  
Kanaya: I Mostly Wish To Discuss Your Soporific Consumption As I Do Not Believe We Have Ever Explicitly Addressed It  
Rose: Well, yes I suppose we have never ventured down this particular avenue of discourse have we?  
Rose: What would you like to discuss about it.  
Kanaya: You Need To Stop Entirely  
Rose: Yes, I believe you elucidated that particular point quite clearly already.  
Rose: Why do you think I need to stop? I have it perfectly under control.  
Rose: I don’t even drink every day. I do not think my habits warrant the raw amount of deportment you are displaying.  
Kanaya: Rose  
Kanaya: Please Tell Me What You Remember From The Last Time You Indulged In Your Soporifics  
Kanaya: It Was Only Yesterday So I Am Sure You Can Recall  
Rose: I remember perfectly well thank you.  
Rose: I do not believe a recountment of yesterday's exploits is necessary for this conversation to move forward.  
Kanaya: Is That Because You Do Not Remember Or Because You Are Embarrassed?  
Rose: Excuse me? I already informed you that I remember perfectly well, so I don’t know why you’re continuing to pester me about it.  
Kanaya: Then Recount For Me What Occurred  
Kanaya: If You Are Able To Do So I Will Never Bring Up The Topic Of Your Soporific Consumption Ever Again  
Rose: Fine.  
Rose: I started drinking in my room, and after feeling sufficiently intoxicated, I left to wonder the meteor, specifically so I could find Dave. I found him in Karkat’s room like usual, they both told me to leave and I did. I then came to your room and we fell asleep together.  
Kanaya: Did Anything Else Occur From The Time You Went To Seek Out Dave To The Time You Found Him?  
Rose: No.  
Kanaya: On Your Way To Find Dave You Stopped At The Alchemizer There You Alchemized A Pile Full Of Objects So Useless You Gained Grist For Creating Them  
Kanaya: You Proceeded To Create And Further Imbibe More Of Your Soporifics  
Kanaya: You Also Encountered Vriska On Your Way To Karkat’s Respiteblock  
Kanaya: You Informed Her That She Was A Huge Bitch Then Gave What I Believe To Be An Offensive Human Gesture According To Dave  
Kanaya: You Then Did Go To Karkat’s Repisteblock Wherein You Commented On Dave’s Sexuality And Insisted That He and Karkat As You Put It “Just Fuck Already”  
Kanaya: They Then Threw You Out And I Indeed Brough You Back To My Respiteblcok Where You Vomited On The Floor  
Kanaya: After I Cleaned You Up However We Did Indeed Fall Asleep Together  
Rose: …  
Kanaya: …  
Rose: …  
Kanaya: …  
Rose: …  
Kanaya: …  
Rose: Do you have anything else to add?  
Kanaya: No I Believe That Sufficiently Accounts For The Events That Occured  
Rose: I see.  
Rose: From you story, it appears that you were following me throughout my various exploits?  
Kanaya: Yes You Trolled Me To Go With You  
Rose: Hmm.  
Kanaya: …  
Kanaya: Was There A Point To That Question?  
Rose: I don’t know, was there?  
Kanaya: …  
Rose: I will concede that my drinking is likely not...in control sometimes.  
Rose: But, why would you let me do all of that?  
Rose: If you were following me the entire time, and presumably knew I would not remember my actions, then why would you allow me to continue on my path of destruction?  
Kanaya: Excuse Me?  
Kanaya: I Am Not Your Lusus I Am Your Matespirt I Wish Only The Best For You But I Do Not Want To Control Your Life  
Kanaya: Your Choices Are Your Own I Am Flushed For You Regardless Of Your Less Than Savory Habits  
Kanaya: I Also Do Not Feel It Fit To Critique As I Am Not Known To Have The Greatest Control Around...Certain Other Substances  
Rose: So if it is my freewill you will let me follow myself to my own death?  
Kanaya: That Is A Very Uncharitable Interpretation Of What I Am Trying To Say  
Kanaya: I Obviously Wouldnt If I Were To Do That We Would Not Be Having THis Conversation  
Rose: Hmm.  
Rose: I am surely not like that every time I drink?  
Kanaya: I Do Not Know  
Kanaya: Whenever You Consume Soporifics Moderation Is Not Something That Seems To Be On Your Thinkpan  
Rose: I see  
Kanaya: Do You Plan To Cease Your Consumption?  
Rose: I…  
Rose: Yes, I suppose I must.  
Rose: Will you help me?  
Kanaya: Of Course  
____________________________________________________________  
Vriska: CAN YOU 8ELIVE THAT????????  
Terezi: Y3S  
Terezi: QU1TE 34S1LY 1N F4CT  
Vriska: Oh my gogggggggg.  
Vriska: I’m talking a8out what she said to me!!!!!!!!  
Terezi: 4BOUT H3R C4LL1NG YOU 4 B1TCH?  
Vriska: Yes!!!!!!!!  
Terezi: VRISKA YOU AR3 4 B1TCH  
Terezi: BUT TH4T’S OKAY! 1T’S P4RT OF WH4T M4K3S YOU SO 3ND34R1NG >:]  
Vriska: Whatever!  
Vriska: I’m still right, Lalonde is pathetic when she’s drinking her weird human shit.  
Terezi: Y3S 1 KNOW  
Vriska: Do you not care????????  
Terezi: 1 C4R3 BUT WH4T 4M 1 GO1NG TO DO?  
Terezi: F1GHT1NG W1TH K4N4Y4 4BOUT H3R M4T3SPR1T 1S LOW ON MY L1ST OF PR1OR1T3S  
Terezi: UNL1K3 YOU, 1 L1K3 TO CHOOS3 ONLY BATTLES 1 W1LL W1N.  
Terezi: WHY 4R3 YOU SO 1NT3R3ST3D 1N M3D3LL1NG W1TH TH3M 1N TH3 F1RST PL4C3?  
Vriska: 8ecause!!!!!!!!  
Terezi: FL4WL3SS R34SON1NG S3RK3T  
Vriska: Ugh! I can’t just let fussyfangs follow some stupid human to her end.  
Vriska: What kind of friend would I 8e if I just let that happen?  
Terezi: HOW M3RC1FUL  
Terezi: SO 1TS NOT B3C4US3 YOU HAV3 4 FLUSHCRUSH ON H3R?  
Terezi: OR 3V3N B3TT3R, ON L4LOND3?  
Terezi: OR M4YB3 1T’S 4 B1T P1TCH HMM?  
Vriska: No!!!!!!!!  
Vriska: It’s 8ecause we’re going to end up in the new session ready to fight lord Lord english and she’s going to 8e too drunk to stand!!!!!!!!  
Vriska: All she’ll be good for is b8  
Terezi: 1M SUR3  
Terezi: W3LL BY ALL M34NS CONT1NU3 FORTH SO LONG 4S YOU DON’T N3G3L3CT YOUR MO1R4IL DUT13S WHO AM 1 TO 1T3RF3R3 W1TH YOUR OTH3R QU4DR4NTS >:]  
Vriska: Shut uppppppppp!!!!!!!!  
Vriska: I DO8’T L8KE EITHER OF TH8M LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!  
Terezi: SHOOSH  
Vriska: DO NOT-  
Terezi: P4P  
Vriska: …  
Vriska: Well don’t stop now.  
Terezi: >:]  
____________________________________________________________________________  
Rose: Dave, can you please let me in.  
Rose: I am well aware that you’re in there, even without my seer’s intuition.  
Dave: …  
Rose: Dave please.  
Rose: I came to apologize.  
Rose: My behavior as of lately has been...less than ideal. In fact, I have been, as the phrase goes, “a huge bitch.”  
Dave: …  
Rose: Please at least say something. I can’t…  
Rose: I’m sorry.  
Dave: have you stopped drinking that shit?  
Rose: Yes.  
Rose: It was pointed out to me that my habits were indeed problematic. Due to this, Vriska and Kanaya are watching me as closely as they watch the clown.  
Rose: Which, I suppose they cannot be blamed for.  
Rose: Though I can’t say I enjoy having Vriska’s attentions on me.  
Dave: ...  
Dave: alright you can come in  
Dave: lets talk  
Dave: hearing you grovel outside of a door like youre a puppy who got locked out of its house is heartbreaking  
Dave: like the rain is coming down and your just a wet scrap of fur and sadness  
Dave: whining like-  
Rose: I may have come to apologize, but I would strongly council you to not finish that statement.  
Dave: yeah youre probably right  
Dave: are you going to come in?  
Rose: If the door was not locked than I would have already become an interloper in your space.  
Rose: As it stands however, the fucking door is locked.  
Dave: oh shit you right  
Dave: …  
Dave: hi  
Rose: Hello  
Dave: …  
Rose: …  
Dave: so  
Dave: realized that the puritans were right huh?  
Rose: I would hardly concede that, but I will admit that my personality and substances do not...mesh well.  
Dave: addiction is a powerful thing  
Rose: I wasn’t-  
Rose: Yes.  
Rose: It is.  
Dave: what made you finally want to stop?  
Rose: Kanaya informed me of some...particuarly exploits I had engaged in during one of my drunken states.  
Rose: It happened to inolve both you and Karkat.  
Dave: yeah i figured you werent going to be able to remember shit from that night  
Dave: never seen you slur your words that bad  
Dave: or been that much of a bitch  
Rose: …  
Rose: Yes, I suppose that was one of my weaker momments wasn’t it?  
Rose: I never wish to repeat any of the actions I took.  
Rose: Forgive me?  
Dave: i mean  
Dave: yeah of course  
Dave: im still mad at you  
Dave: karkat is probably way angrier tbqh  
Dave: but its not like i havent seen worse  
Dave: and youre also the only other human on this fucking astreoid as well as my best friend so  
Dave: yeah i forgive you  
Rose: …  
Dave: …  
Rose: I’m sorry.  
Dave: …  
Dave: rose are you uh  
Dave: are you trying to hug me?   
Rose: Yes.  
Dave: okay then  
Rose: …  
Dave: …  
Rose: …  
Dave: ....  
Rose: …  
Dave: …  
Rose: Can I let go now?  
Dave: yeah i would prefer if you did   



End file.
